Carl (Guardians In Love Book 4) Read online

  Carl

  By Brianna West

  Copyright © Brianna West 2018

  Photos on Cover © Adobe.com

  All Rights Reserved.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  Any distribution, electronically or physically, of this book in part or in whole without the explicit consent of the author is strictly prohibited.

  Other Books by Author

  The Promiscus Guardians Series

  Awakening, Book One

  Metamorphosis, Book Two

  Dawning, Book Three

  Resurrection, Book Four

  The Guardians In Love Series

  Victor, Book One

  Pavel, Book Two

  Bernie, Book Three

  The Underground Guardians Series

  When Darkness Breaks, Book One

  Table of Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Acknowledgements

  I would like to thank the overwhelming support I receive from the indie community over the course of my writing career. Without the people who’ve lent me their time, effort, and overall good will, I wouldn’t be able to keep the books and my writing going.

  I would especially like to thank my beta readers: Trisha, Sammy, Victoria, and Kate. Without their feedback, the book wouldn’t be what it is today.

  Dedication

  This book is dedicated to my dear friend and equally mad woman, Laura. Her friendship gave me the strength I need to keep writing happily and without prejudice.

  Love you.

  "Love isn't something you find. Love is something that finds you."

  — Loretta Young

  Chapter One

  What sort of stories are told of those of us who only watch our love flounder in silence? Who would ever willingly drown in these sorts of feelings?

  When I first discovered their existence, I was stricken. So much so that I couldn’t fathom how I’d ever come to know this feeling—this love. But as the years grew on, dragging me along with tight fingers clasped around my heart, there was nothing that I could reason anymore that could refute what I felt. What I felt for him.

  “Carl?”

  The low baritone rang out in the silent room, jolting me away from my thoughts. “Sir?”

  “How long have we shared each other’s company? I had hoped you might refer to me as Victor by now,” the angel who currently supervised our team said with a soft, almost exasperated sigh. “You have been especially quiet these past few weeks with your brother and Nyla away.”

  The Glock 19, which had been a gift from my late father, shifted with a clank as I touched it absently. It was my source of strength in these moments when my emotions were running freely through my veins, shredding my pulse and ability to speak in the wake of them.

  “My apologies, sir. What is it you wish for me to do?”

  Victor sat across from me, his long leg bent over the other and his long-fingered hands clasped loosely onto his lap. A smart suit donned his athletic figure, which I wouldn’t deny had captivated my gaze a time or two. Golden skin and sharp features were framed by pale, nearly white hair that had been left loose this evening. His silken hair shifted with the pondering gaze he offered me in the moments following my question. Then, as if coming to a final conclusion, Victor stood from his chair and trained his light blue eyes onto me.

  “An acquaintance of mine has requested assistance. His team recently lost one of its own and has been unable to find a candidate suitable enough to join. He had heard of you from Lucas a few years prior and wished to extend an offer,” Victor appealed shortly, his voice carrying its usual professional countenance.

  A shudder ran the length of my body at the mention of him and, knowing that the man before me would perceive it all, I worked quickly to control my expression.

  “While I understand that you work best alongside your brother, it would not be in good faith if I did not at least extend the offer to you with full transparency. He has suggested you join temporarily and make your decision at the month’s end.”

  “Sir?”

  Transparency?

  Victor’s eyes danced across my face, the intelligent spark inside of them straightening my spine. “It will be a time before your brother returns from the In-Between realm. Months, perhaps even a full year with the time alteration between the two.”

  The In-Between realm ran slower than the human world. What was hours in theirs could be days, even a week or two in ours. It wasn’t unfathomable to suggest that I may not see my twin brother for months, and maybe even a year with the business they sought to handle there.

  With his recent attachment to the princess of the Spiritum Bellatorum—Spirit Warriors that were among seven distinct kingdoms in the space between the Underworld, the Mortal world, and Heaven—my brother, Bernie, was expected to assist in our ongoing endeavors to form treaties with the realm and their inhabitants.

  “As Lucas has made it clear he is intent on leaving his post at this time, having relinquished it to Nyla, the dynamic has been somewhat altered. However, with Nyla and your brother away on business in the realm and the need growing here, all the members of this team are being dispersed to other teams temporarily. I thought this might prove an advantageous opportunity for you to…vacation away from the things that currently ail you.”

  I swallowed around the painful constriction of my throat, eyes widening briefly. To expect Victor to never discern the truth behind my wayward glances, it was simply naïve. Of course, I’d hoped that I was clever enough, but with an angel as calculating as Victor was, it was wishful thinking.

  Claiming a spot on the most acclaimed team within the Promiscus Guardians, it was our duty to offer our assistance to anyone that might require it. Because it was our duty as Guardians, first and foremost, to aid where we were needed most. Fighting for the Light and defeating the Dark, no matter where we claimed our home, it was the purpose of every Guardian.

  I took my position within the Guardians seriously, considering it was a home away from home. Anything that the Guardians required of me, I’d do it gladly and without argument. I wasn’t one to ask why or how, just do as I was bid and figure out what was necessary to make sure it was done.

  Being mixed creatures like we were, there was a certain amount of disdain purebloods held for us. Being of neither world had its difficulties, because so little was understood of mixes. Those of us that wished to prove our use joined the Guardians.

  My twin and I were mixed, much like most of the Promiscus Guardians were, which were created on the very idea of using creatures of mixed breeds. Our father was a were-tiger and our mother a witch. We’d grown up fairl
y unaware of how the mix would affect us, but over the years, we’d grown accustomed to our special gifts and differences.

  For the most part.

  “When do I leave?” I smoothed over the vest fitted to my chest, perfecting my appearance in order to tuck away the residual pain of my unrequited love.

  “Today.”

  *

  Smoothing back my hair and adjusting the fit of the vest I wore, I prepared myself for the meet-and-greet with the infamous Irish team leader I was going to work under. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t anxious with the prospects of working with a team I’d never worked with before. I had served many other teams, especially since I’d been a Guardian for quite some time now, but it had been a very long time since I’d voluntarily separated myself from him and an unrequited love that had lasted over a decade.

  I ran my fingers over the cool metal of the Glock holstered on my belt, relishing the silky taste of it on the pads of my fingertips. It was my silent relief from the anxiety weighing down my chest. A little habit I’d developed when I wanted to control my emotions, especially around him.

  My heart palpitated as I arrived in the baggage claim area, despairing quietly that my pants had been wrinkled in the short flight from London to Dublin. I claimed my luggage, fighting through the crowds politely and stealing to a corner of the spacious room to wait.

  The whispered conversations of the humans around me touched my ears, allowing me to quickly sift through them for anything that might prove valuable. Like where I might find a bathroom to fix my haggard appearance.

  Being part were-tiger, many of my senses were heightened. My hearing was one of them, as well as my sense of smell. Which was both a blessing and a curse. In a room filled with traveling humans, my sense of smell was more often a curse. Sweat tainted by the sweet notes of perfume and the pungent musk of cologne would definitely ruin any appetite I might’ve had before I arrived. Of course, the flight was no better, but at least most of the travelers had only been inside for a short time.

  I found other ways to travel when the distance meant I’d be locked inside a cabin for several long hours without a break.

  The soft, chiming giggles of women rang inside my ears as their bashful glances strayed to me, their intention to flirt not going unnoticed. I offered a quiet smile, bowing respectfully towards them and deepening the flush on their cheeks. But what I did was merely out of polite regard and not with the intention to return their affection.

  It wasn’t that I didn’t feel anything when I looked at them. Quite the opposite. I was envious of the freedom they had to openly express themselves when they found someone attractive. I could never overtly express myself that way when I found someone attractive because, more often than not, the person I gazed at was another man.

  It was a discovery I made early in my youth, and with a lot of hesitation. The loss of control I felt when my body betrayed me was something that had long plagued me. My southern roots—ones that valued masculinity and morals that did not encompass a man loving another man—had made it difficult to not only acknowledge this part of myself, but to fully accept it.

  The area my brother, sister, and I had been raised wasn’t the sort of place where one could freely love. While my brother had never shamed me for the attraction I felt towards other men, especially since our own sister also harbored the same attraction towards her own gender, I still felt ashamed by the way I felt.

  My appearance was one of few things I managed to keep control over. While it was levels above my brother, who valued idiotic t-shirts and a good pair of worn denims to complement his signature cowboy hat, it was also my silent source of strength to maintain a perfectly tailored exterior to offset my mind, in which was always in chaos over my long-standing affection for other men.

  One in particular. A man who was someone that would never return my affection.

  After carrying around these feelings for him for over a decade, only to watch him fall in love with a woman who had somehow become a dear friend, was both the worst and best way to have my heart broken. However, in the wake of it, I was still mending my shredded heart as best as I could. Mending was slow-going when everyone around me was, in some way or another, finding their true loves and fated partners.

  It was difficult to imagine that sort of future for myself. Finding love was already tough in our line of work, seeing how we only ever did that, work. And the risk of death was exceedingly higher due to the nature of our Cause—policing the Light and Dark. But it was even more so the case with the kinds of affections I harbored. A love returned seemed nearly impossible. In the time I’d served as a Guardian, I’d only ever met a few others who were openly gay. None of which I’d ever find myself attached to.

  Although, to be honest, I was never open about being gay myself. I didn’t see any merit in it, when the man I’d fallen in love with was anything but. Frankly, I didn’t think that he’d ever fall in love, given his past. But I was proven wrong.

  It was excruciating to watch and, if I’d been a lesser man, I would’ve done more to intervene. But, though it hurt to watch the man I loved fall in love with someone else, I loved him enough to want every happiness for him. Whatever the cost, I wanted Lucas to know true, uncomplicated love.

  And he did.

  Well, as uncomplicated as it could be with the woman he’d chosen to be with.

  “Excuse me,” someone called out, drawing my eyes upwards from where they rested on the floor, “Am I right to assume you’re Carl?”

  A man whose leather jacket and tight-fitting pants were claiming the stares of all the women, and some men even, stood a few feet in front of me. His strong build was easily noticeable in the clothing he wore, almost double my size in muscle mass. A feat that I wouldn’t freely admit to. Lightly tossed ginger hair and enough of a beard to see a similar ginger color in it intrigued my gaze, until it finally rested on the bright, untainted green color of his eyes. His mouth lifted, dragging my gaze to it as the perfect smile damn near blinded me from where he stood.

  Gorgeous bastard.

  His pallor appearance was especially vivid in the dark clothing he’d donned, leaving the impression that he most likely hailed from this part of the world. A fitting image of a true Irishman. Also, my very worst nightmare. The attraction was instantaneous. I knew it immediately by the thudding of my pulse and sudden queasiness in my belly.

  Oh, dear Lord, have mercy on me.

  “Carl, was it?”

  Suddenly realizing I hadn’t answered him, I straightened my spine and smoothed over my vest. “Yes, sir. Victor said you sent for me?”

  The man’s smile brightened, swiftly stealing the rest of the air from my lungs. “Right, lovely. I thought I might’ve accidentally called out to a complete stranger and made a total arse of myself.”

  My lips twitched, refraining from smiling as I glanced around the crowd at the inquisitive stares of complete strangers. “Luckily not.”

  “Right, still time to make an absolute arse of myself, I’m sure. Anyway, where are my manners,” he came forward, taking one of the bags on the floor by my feet and lifting it, “I’m Conall O’Donall. And before you have mind to tease me over the name, I’ll have you know rhyming is in the family and we quite like it.”

  Smiling in spite of myself, I gave a quick, assertive nod. “I’ll remember that, sir.”

  “And none of this ‘sir’ business,” Conall said, shouldering the bag and tossing me a small, reproachful glance. “I don’t like it. I won’t have it. I’m not really the ‘sir’ kind, if you catch my meaning. Besides, if anyone should be calling anyone sir, it’s me, right?”

  His chatty attitude had somewhat blindsided me, so I was having trouble responding with my usual promptness. “What do you mean?”

  “The infamous Lucas Easton team and all that,” Conall went on, leading the way out of the airport and navigating the crowd with ease. “You’re the best of the best, and there’s no one who’d argue otherwise.”

&n
bsp; “As long as I serve the Guardians, it doesn’t matter what team claims me,” I responded evenly, peering at the crowd around us and observing the clearly stricken women who were looking our way with quiet interest.

  Their furtive glances and hushed conversation was almost impossible to tune out, especially in my current state of chaos. Sometimes, it was difficult to control my acute hearing when I was having trouble focusing. Harder still as I was rather intrigued by the bulky, well-muscled man ahead of me, who was several inches taller than myself, to my dismay.

  I’d never grow accustomed to all these large male types, having been the largest in my town growing up. When I joined the Promiscus Guardians, I was slowly beaten out by every new Guardian I met. My silly pride as a man crept up in instances like these, where my hope of being the strongest and tallest took precedence over skill and ability. Even though I should be used to it by now, I couldn’t help the slight prick of envy when I wasn’t clearly the bigger of the two.

  “The rest of the team is out on a few missions, but should be back by tomorrow evening. You’ll be staying with me in the meantime, until we can find you a place of your own.”

  Conall led me over to a small vehicle parked in a lot nearby, the sight a comical one when I pondered how the two of us would fit inside of it. He threw my luggage into the trunk, wrestling with the latch to get it closed and smiling valiantly when he’d won the fight. Something inside of me stirred at the sight; an unconscious warning ringing inside my head at what the sudden reactions to Conall could mean.

  Leaning up against the back of the car, Conall exaggerated his breathing with a secretive smile. “Well, I’ve wrestled the beast and won. Think it time to be on our way?”

  My stomach knotted as he opened the door and gestured for me to get inside first. “Is this you being hospitable or just outright patronizing?” I asked against my better judgment to keep everything professionally sterile between us.