Bernie (Guardians In Love Book 3) Read online

  Love was something rarely spoken of and almost never uttered in the world I was brought up in, but it wasn’t unheard of. Love was just useless to those in court, because our bonds were decided from birth for most of us. However, I knew of its meaning from the men I oversaw in the army. Especially when they spoke candidly about it amongst themselves the instant they thought I wasn’t listening.

  I knew the word was profoundly the reason that many men and women had been led astray, but I never imagined I’d be one of them. I never imagined I might be tempted as far as to neglect my duty as princess to be with someone I held this sort of affection for.

  But here I was, doing just what I thought I’d never be one to do.

  Bernie’s hand touched my face as I contemplated how I came to be this person who gave up all of her obligations just for a taste of what she desired. It baffled me. And when I realized he was touching me, my body flushed with intense heat, causing me to pull myself out of my swirling thoughts and back to where I was—in the arms of a Guardian at fault for the ongoing conflict between who I was supposed to be, and who I was but could never be.

  Smacking Bernie upside the head, I managed to dislodge his hold on me and get gracefully to my feet. Bernie giggled with a roguish grin before getting to his own feet and quickly returning his discarded hat back onto his head while peering around us with open awe.

  “It’s so red here, like we’re in another world entirely,” Bernie said, twirling before sauntering over and taking hold of me around the waist. “Let’s do it once here, then we can go do it in your room. What do you say, princess? Should we make some memories together?”

  I shoved his face away as Bernie’s eyebrows waggled, chiding him with the click of my tongue and escaping his hold. I knew my punishments were lacking at the moment, but I couldn’t injure him in good conscience after what had just transpired. It inadvertently reminded me that we still had to speak about his past, but I wasn’t able to gather my thoughts enough to start the topic.

  “Anric will not be long,” I stated, calming my pulse as best as I could to keep it from filtering into my voice.

  I would not blush. I would not swoon. I would not ogle his gorgeous face. Well, not more than I already had anyway.

  Bernie’s eyes lit up, eyebrows nearly raised into his hairline. “Meaning, if he weren’t, you and I’d be getting our bumping and grinding on?”

  My jaw fell while the internal laughter took hold of me, causing my lips to twitch as I tried desperately not to laugh out loud. “Bernard, that is absolutely vulgar.”

  “Aw, shucks,” Bernie said, twisting one leg side to side, “You know just what to say to make this cowboy blush.”

  “You can’t possibly be serious,” I remarked in utter confusion, “That was far from a compliment, Bernard.”

  Bernie slipped in closer, tucking stray hair behind my ear with his seductive amber gaze penetrating my outward indifference. “It’s Bernie, princess. And why is what we did vulgar? Did it not feel good, those things we did?”

  What?!

  “No—I mean, yes…I mean…” I struggled, unable to coherently respond before he was giggling and stealing a kiss.

  Leaning back, as if he expected another hit—one he fully deserved—Bernie spoke quickly, “I love how quick to ramble you are when you’re all flustered, princess. Does things to a man, ya know, seeing a strong, well-spoken woman like yourself get tongue-tied and cutely uncomfortable. Makes me wanna tease you until you’re bright red and speechless. You’re mighty adorable when you’re flushed like a blooming red rose at dawn.”

  Blooming red rose? Was that some sort of mythical creature?

  “Bernie.”

  “Yes, my sweetie-poo?”

  I gathered myself enough to rush the awaiting cowboy, delivering a sound hit to his abdomen with the heel of my boot and sending him tumbling backwards over the red earth. He landed sprawled out, much like when we had first arrived, and completely winded with the strength I put into the kick.

  “Holy smokes, princess! I sure did miss how quick you get me on my back with that strength of yours,” Bernie said, coughing through the dust and getting up onto all fours before rising fully to his feet.

  My gaze narrowed on the goofy smile he was beaming at me, my body inappropriately responding to the suggestion in his illuminated stare. “We haven’t time for games. Anric is most likely in the kingdom already. Come, Guardian.”

  “Ooh, I’m in the tiger house now,” Bernie complained with a laughing head shake, “She’s reverted back to calling me Guardian. I’ve been a very bad kitty.”

  Choosing to ignore him, because I couldn’t even pretend to know what he meant, I collected myself and took a gander at the world around us. His happy laughter followed me as I walked away and scanned the familiar landscape of dense, faraway forest and listened to the distant sounds of water carrying on the wind; the ocean only a few miles from where we had portaled.

  The weight of my own world, while familiar, felt noticeably heavier coming back after spending the last few weeks in the mortal realm. It was like the weight of my responsibilities had once again settled onto my shoulders, and I felt on edge with their return.

  Readjusting the blade strapped to my back, I breathed in deeply and tried to disregard the uncomfortable feeling in my belly with my unprecedented return to the place I would’ve at one time called home. Now, this world felt heavy and unwelcoming.

  It wasn’t the homecoming I had originally hoped for.

  I should be eager to see my brother after the short time away, but I wasn’t. I felt terrified of what he might say when I sought his permission to go after the demon who killed our brother. And even more so, I felt the weight of my transgressions as I glanced at the happy Guardian looking around, eager to start our journey.

  He was the embodied reminder of my failure to be the princess I was expected to be. He was everything I shouldn’t want, shouldn’t have, but still yearned for with every sound beat of my heart. He was the rather unsubtle reminder that I’d tasted happiness and was now conflicted with how to return to the life I’d lived before knowing him.

  Before loving him.

  We weren’t far from the kingdom, and that very thought settled more uncomfortable weight into my stomach. I portaled us right outside the barrier of the Spiritum Bellatorum lands. I had hoped to afford myself enough time to revert back to the princess I once was, but in the few moments we had been here, I was anything but.

  Struggling internally to find the motivation to keep walking, I adjusted the sword at my back yet again, hoping that I could find strength in the weapon I’d come to call a companion over the years. But instead, I only felt more weight on my shoulders.

  Bernie stood beside me, his arms crossed against his chest as his smile wavered slightly. “My father was a king…”

  Eyes shooting to the side, my stare widened in astonishment at the Guardian, whose face was stiffening with the recollection. His lips quivered before he was looking at me, amber eyes glowing with the poignant memory. He didn’t need to say what the memory did to him; it was clear in his expression how much it still deeply affected him.

  “A king?”

  “The King of the Tigers to be exact,” Bernie explained, fingers tightening around his biceps.

  My gaze faltered, knowing the implications of what he said without him uttering anything further. His father was killed, which is the only way the title would fall to another. It was clear that it wasn’t Bernie who had taken it, giving me reason to infer that it was stolen by another—someone that Bernie then killed. Whether it was for vengeance, I couldn’t be sure.

  Nodding, I cleared my throat and repressed the desire to take him into my arms. I knew that sort of pain, recently feeling it to such a degree that I was willing to discard my duties as princess to seek out the demon who was behind it for vengeance.

  “He was a good king,” Bernie went on, his voice tight, “and it was probably why Ma never made him choose. She n
ever told him about us until we were well-grown and asking about him. See, to uphold his lineage, he was expected to marry another tiger. And when he fell in love with Ma, it was either he died and give up his title, or leave her. There wasn’t any other way for them.”

  My heart clenched, hearing the melancholy and wishing to comfort it. But I stood frozen beside him, waiting patiently for Bernie to say what needed to be said. My hands fisted as I looked towards the horizon, hearing him rather than seeing him in those soft, heartbreaking moments.

  “When we went searching for him, it was a pretty big deal. He hadn’t really expected us, but for some reason, he knew in his heart we were his from the very first moment,” Bernie stated, his voice cracking.

  His hand found mine, entwining our fingers intimately. I breathed out a shuddering breath before gripping his hand in return.

  “And he did what he couldn’t do for Ma, he made the tigers listen. He made them accept us as their own.”

  I glanced at Bernie, seeing his jaw grinding as he removed his hat and looked at it with a sweet smile. “He gave me this hat that his father gave to him when he was first crowned the Tiger King. Said I had it in me to take his place and make a change. Get them out of their own way. Gave Carl that gun he always wears because ‘real cowboys use guns’.”

  Bernie chuckled shortly, shaking his head. “Carl even told him that it wasn’t really a cowboy gun, but you know what he said? He told him that all guns were pretty much the same, just that that one was his favorite. Said it had cool spunk like Carl.”

  His eyes tracked back over to me, placing the hat on top of my head and brushing his knuckles over my cheek. “The day after, he was killed in his sleep by his best friend, Charlie.”

  My breathing hitched at the fierce blaze of amber before Bernie wrapped his arm around me and embraced my body. He held me firmly, his voice coming through loudly with my ear pressed into his chest.

  “Charlie had wanted to pledge their loyalty to the Dark so that the group could grow more powerful and overtake the rest of the were-animal packs. He wanted the tigers to rule it all, and Danny had sworn himself to Charlie and the cause. It’s why Charlie killed my father. My father refused to side with the Dark. And so, in order to keep the pack sided with the Light, I killed Charlie. And then, I banished our good friend, Danny, because he couldn’t be persuaded after I’d become king.”

  Bernie cradled my face, forcing our gazes to meet. “But I never wanted to be king, Nyla. I thought if I passed the title to Frank, it would be fine. I never knew that the only way to get the title was to kill the king.”

  Swallowing around the empathy I felt for him, I touched his face, nodding. “You couldn’t have known, Bernie.”

  “I could’ve,” he retorted, smiling sadly, “I only had to listen. But I was so angry…hurt that someone we’d come to trust was the one to kill my father that I didn’t care enough to do more than I had to before running away.”

  Licking suddenly dry lips, I slipped my fingers into his hair. “It is only what we do in the future that can truly redeem our past.”

  I spoke the words my brother had once said to me, feeling their weight as I dropped my hand from his face and drew away from his embrace. The words had been said to soothe his heart, but after hearing them with my own ears, it had instead hit me where I was already in excruciating pain.

  I wasn’t living my future to redeem my past by seeking to further entangle myself with Bernie, and it made me feel like a hypocrite for even uttering the words to him. I’d been so caught up with suggestions like our connection being one of magical origins and unbreakable that I’d excused the neglect of my own responsibilities as a princess just to continue to be with him.

  But I wouldn’t any longer.

  Lifting my chin, I regarded Bernie with the return of my prior self, steeling my outward persona and locking away my heart. “My brother, the king, is waiting.”

  ~*~

  The many eyes of court reacted relatively singularly to our arrival—disgusted and disappointed. Not that it truly mattered what they thought of me, because it was to be expected after I’d left the realm to seek my traitorous brother. But I couldn’t quite handle the overt disgust being aimed at the man who walked happily beside me, as if the world itself could be against him and it wouldn’t bother him in the slightest.

  Yaniv stood from his throne, the long black, royally embroidered cloak falling all around him. His exposed chest gleamed in the low light as his pale gaze fixed to me, then to Bernie with silent interest.

  “Dear sister, you have returned,” he said for all to hear, “And even better, you have reclaimed our brother as well as brought a guest. I would say she returns victorious, would you all not agree?” A resounding applause lifted into the tense air before it grew silent once more.

  Reclaimed.

  A sharp sensation struck my chest at Yaniv’s easy dismissal of Vlad’s death. But he was the king, first and foremost, and it wouldn’t be appropriate for him to mourn a traitor. Still, it made my chest feel unbearably tight as I stood amid the derisive stare of court.

  Bernie’s eyes were sparkling as he looked around, eliciting sneers and chiding tuts from the nearby court-goers. “Hoo-wee, lookie at all these pretty people. I feel underdressed,” he said with a whistle, tipping his hat at one of the nearby women and giving her a start, “Or should I say, overdressed. How you doin’, darlin’?”

  Her face, on first glance, would suggest she was disgusted, but I knew by the brief sparkle in her eyes that she was taken in by his unusual charms. She took a few backward steps, causing Bernie to wink before he was looking over at me with a sheepish smile. The jealously I didn’t know I’d been capable of harboring constricted my throat as I turned away and walked over to my brother. Anric stood off to the right, taking a few steps over to us as I bowed respectfully to Yaniv.

  “Brother, I have returned,” I said expressionlessly, keeping my emotions tightly locked away. “Might I speak with you privately?”

  The side of Yaniv’s mouth lifted. “Of course, dear sister. Let us retire to my chambers. I’m quite interested to hear of your travels.” His eyes raised from mine. “See that the Guardian is escorted to one of the guest rooms,” my brother said to Anric.

  Bernie smiled gleefully, stepping right up to where we stood. “Oh, but can’t I come with you two?”

  Yaniv’s eyes widened perceptibly before he managed to recover, his face becoming indifferent once more. “I see now why Anric was so eager to get back to the mortal realm before.”

  Bernie’s smile never faltered. “Yeah, he wasn’t too happy about leaving your little sister with me, that’s for sure.”

  “She would be led astray is how I recall him imparting his concerns,” Yaniv said, immensely amused, though it was probably difficult to tell to anyone who didn’t know him very well.

  Bernie’s expression still hadn’t faltered. “Yeah, well, she’s certainly made me head-over-heels, if you know what I mean.”

  Yaniv’s gaze flickered. “I’m afraid I’m not familiar with that phrasing. Would you care to explain?”

  My heart stopped as Bernie’s smile broadened.

  Oh god, no.

  “Brother,” I said quickly, “there is much to be said between you and I. I would much rather it remain between us.”

  Bernie’s lower lip pushed out as he pouted. “You don’t want me there, princess?”

  He would ruin everything!

  “No,” I retorted sharply.

  “Like a dagger to my heart, princess.” Bernie put a hand over his chest, overexaggerating as though the very words had injured him.

  Yaniv’s intelligent eyes traveled from me to Bernie, quietly observing. I knew instantly that if anymore was said, he would figure it all out. My brother was even more insightful than I was, coming to conclusions quicker than anyone I had ever met. So, I started forward, taking hold of my brother’s arm and leading the way to Yaniv’s personal chambers. I all but ignored Bern
ie’s few attempts at calling out to me. Thankfully, I overheard Anric speaking quietly to my Guardian shortly before their combined presence disappeared.

  I breathed a sigh of relief, having separated from my brother absently, only realizing as much when Yaniv came to my side and opened the door to his chambers. “You seem on edge, Sister.”

  “I’m not,” I snapped, internally berating the slip. “I mean, I am merely tired, Brother.”

  Yaniv’s pale blue eyes danced with amusement, suggesting he had already figured it all out. “To be sure. Well then, come inside. I’m sure there is much to be said.”

  Chapter Twenty

  ~***~

  “You seem livelier, dear sister,” Yaniv remarked, motioning for me to take the chair nearest his, “I feel I owe that Guardian some sort of reward for this visible change in you.”

  Wait, what?!

  “You…Yaniv, this isn’t some sort of game. I am this kingdom’s princess.” My chin lifted as my heart raced, the sharp eyes of my eldest brother peering straight through every barrier I’d tried to rebuild.

  He stroked his jaw contemplatively, regarding me with a serious look. “I have said it before, Nyla, and I will say it again—you are not bound to this place, to your royal role. It was never my wish to chain you with Father’s barbaric, ill-conceived rules, which had served only to trap you in court.”

  My throat constricted with emotion, feeling just how deeply Yaniv cared for me. Enough to disregard everything that had been upheld by our father in the last one thousand years just so that I might be whoever I wished to be. But I couldn’t do that to him. Not if it meant weakening his own hold on the subjects within his kingdom.

  Yaniv sighed dramatically, rubbing his temples. “Still quite stubborn. And here I thought that you had finally let yourself be free.”

  “How could I?” I lied, speaking in near hysterics, “Vlad betrayed you, and now you wish that I do as well?”